Smells like victory. It is said that the ‘good things come to those that wait’. This cricket report is probably not one of those. But needless to say your humble reporter will try to capture the incredible highs and lows not mention feats of heroic daring-do despite having almost recollection of what I did last night let alone nearly 6 weeks ago. Nevertheless, I will regale you all, dear readers, with the most important facts.
It was a very warm day as our team arrived filled with anticipation for the days battle in the filed against local rivals, Great Tew. The latter had conjured a team of seemingly small children and semi-professional South Africans and no skipper leaving them with just 8 players. Unusually, Enstone could field a full squad of actual players however, there was certainly some trepidation at the thought of being smashed around by one of ‘Tew’s loanees. Our skipper surprised us all by electing to field first. And at this point, dear reader, please allow your humble narrator to somewhat stall as I try to pluck the events from a memory somewhat pickled in beer and swimming with lines of current theatrical enterprises. But I recall our dander being somewhat up at having overheard the Tew opening children bragging about how many sixes they would hit and our sometime colleague Sam laughing as he spoke of our woeful abilities. They would have been best to keep quiet as their first was soon gone for just 11 whilst trying to massively take the piss out of J.Watts bowling. He may or may not have been caught by T. Peterson. It is hard to tell as the Tew children keeping score seemed to have absolutely no idea what they were doing and have credited several wickets to an Enstone player called Pench. I believe they meant French. Their number 3 also fell quickly, clean bowled for 7 from a wicked delivery by our skipper W.Speke, who had decided to actually aim for the stumps as opposed to hurling neck high bouncers at 12 year old children. He dismissed the next child for a duck caught and bowled. And the next, bowled for two. However, the South African semi-pro was next to the crease and he played with elegance and style. He and their opener who was refusing to go built a very healthy partnership of 152 with J.King getting 101 before retiring. The springbok was eventually caught in typical Gregory style. Dear reader, this narrator will never tire of B.Gregory’s antics. One can only deeply enjoy the way in which he tricks the batter into thinking there is now way in hell he could be caught only to be crushed by Gregory’s unbelievable ability to gather the ball safely from three feet behind him. Truly remarkable. Tew saw out the innings and advanced their score only by six more. They left the field a respectable 182 all out. Speke was the stand out of 9-1-23-3 Nine overs being a bit controversial and T. Peterson claimed the inexperienced children had nicked his maiden over. Tea was excellent, and I believe it might even have been provided by S.Parker. Enstone went out to bat confident but also wary that the children might be a little more handy with the ball than the bat. Parker and Speke strode to their respective creases, but despite the formers confidence he was caught out mid-wicket (can’t believe I can remember that) for just 8. F. Forder took his place. And there, dear reader, really, ends the story. Speke and Forder were indomitable. Despite being very good bowlers, the children found our two heroes impenetrable. Their bats flashed in the Oxfordshire sun and even Forder’s legs were a blur of speed as he batted to an Enstone career best of 83 and Speke 67. Enstone were victorious over 8 children and a semi-pro. And I, dear reader could leave my season not having embarrassed myself too greatly and safe in the knowledge that this team is firing on all cylinders. Many more victories await them and I look forward to the reports of great sporting feats (In probably a more expeditious manner than I could achieve). I shall miss you all and my Sunday afternoons in your exceptional company. Report by Dan Stewart
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